Yes, It's Really Me

I just commented on an ancient post by Lorraine about how Facebook has wooed us away from our blogs (some of us, anyway) and stolen our brains, resulting in the inability to manage more than 10 original words in a row. I speak for myself, of course. My blog's last entry is ancient. Far too much has transpired to mention. The good part is, nothing bad has happened- just good or normal stuff.
I hope it's the same with you all.
Maybe a quick run down of the year? Okay.
-No deaths
-No break-ups or divorces
-No bankruptcies
-A successful gardening year with bumper crops
- A fabulous boyfriend
-Successful school years for both J and E
-Continued employment
-Wonderful trips

Until next time, my friends.
-

http://iwl.me/b/696f37bd
Check this site out. Analyzing your writing and compare it to great writers. Hysterical.
I compared two of my posts and found I wrote like Issac Asimov and Douglas Adams.

Plodding along with dating and the search. Even though I say that I am enjoying the process so I can sound upbeat, it takes a lot of steam to continually find myself at "START" over and over. I am struggling with over thinking what it takes at times or find myself in a cynical dialogue with myself that thankfully doesn't last long. I think it is a mechanism to keep from getting any hopes up each meeting. Being my own coach is hard.
A guy I have been seeing and spending great time with is not a good long term candidate at all but the activities we share an interest in are so much fun together, I find myself reluctant to move on. There is comfort in having someone who fills some of the "relationship" bill.
He is quite the thinker and has a solid handle on who he is. What we have dealt with between the two of us has made me realize about how far I really have to go to be open and well-adjusted with my thought process in a relationship. Maybe 'honest with myself' would be a better way of stating it. In the end, what I hope to gain in knowing him is how to step back and analyze what is happening and deal with it honestly. Analytical I am not if I am in the middle of it. Once it's over or if it doesn't pertain to me, I am sharp as a tack. My emotions fiddle with my head.

I told my daughter I wanted potting soil and vodka for Christmas. She asked me if I was making a dirty martini...

It doesn't matter if the glass is half full or half empty. There is clearly more room for vodka.

Yay! Camping in the most beautiful place on earth! Mark Twain National Forest. It should be a lovely couple of days. Can't wait for the fire, the music and the conversation. Hope my long johns do the trick, though. Since it's deer season, we won't be hiking which is a shame.

My dear daughter is doing well with her grades and much better with her anxiety. She is very slowly gaining some degree of connectivity with the campus life and her dorm companions, including her roomies. I'm proud of her for figuring out how to make the grades because she gains so much more confidence from seeing her accomplishments than if I just told her she was doing well.

Boy is so much fun to have around. I think I mentioned he is opening up about what is going on in his head and school. I don't even have to ask. He supplies the info. We got into a discussion yesterday morning just before school and I hated to leave before we finished it was that good and fun. He is also so much more lovey than I ever thought he would be.

Things seem to be good all around. This is where the family tradition of asking what's going to
go wrong comes in to play.

I miss Simon.

I've noticed a lot of men who enjoy NASCAR and hot rods are online on the dating sites. I wonder if there is a correlation between their hobbies and their marriage status? -she said sarcastically.

Last Night

I figure it could never happen again in a million years. One of those things that could never be planned to happen so perfectly.
Second meeting for this gentleman and myself. I went into the restaurant I was meeting my date at, figuring he was already inside. He was not but I was seated at our reserved table. It's a smallish restaurant with seating for maybe 75. Tables closely positioned to each other. He comes along and we begin to visit, tables beside us -like 2 feet away- bustle with couples chatting. It takes me a few moments to let go of my need to scoot away from their proximity. The couple to my right leaves and I breath more easily. We are snarfing our salads when the door opens and lo and behold, in walks my date from Wednesday night that I decided was not my cuppa tea and had shared that with. I froze. But then I breathed out a sigh of despair to which my date caught and understood immediately. I told him the situation and he giggled. To my horror, I calculated where my former date was going to sit since there were no other tables available.....You guessed it. He made his way behind the hostess to the table to my right, exactly two feet away from me. I didn't know what to do. It was so uncomfortable and I didn't know what was customary in this situation, more for the former date than my current date. My immediate reaction was to say hello but I wasn't sure under the circumstances how the former date would have been with that. My current date, Scott, just giggled quietly and whispered he was glad it was me and not him dealing with this. The former date, Mark, asked the hostess as quietly as he could if there was another available arrangement but of course there wasn't. I finally, after guzzling the rest of my Chianti, leaned over and said hello and asked about the possible chances of all this. He just smiled and asked how I was and that was that. We ignored each other after that effectively. His date arrived after all that, so it saved him some uncomfortable moments, I would wager to say. Maybe I shouldn't have been that uncomfortable but I just felt so guilty?...Exposed?
My dating experiences have been mostly uneventful, with this and one other exception. It was when I decided I was going to try meeting two guys in one day, having made the dates hours apart. We were only meeting for a drink and to chat. It seemed logical to try it. The snag was when the first date and I found the place we were meeting at was closed. He wanted to go to, of all places, the place I was meeting my second date. It seemed fine since it appeared we would have more than enough time to visit and be done before the second meeting time. There was NOT enough time after all. My second date came in an hour earlier and sat RIGHT behind my first date. I was horrified. I couldn't concentrate on my first date and was more than obviously distracted trying not to be distracted. I also ran into confusion on how to get #1 out the door without leaving myself. We finally called it done and I told him I was heading to the bathroom. I stayed in there for at least 10 minutes, hoping # 1 was gone and he was... I never heard from him again. Big surprise. This was all witnessed by #2. He never said a thing. We chatted and he didn't act like it was any big deal. I had a hard time recovering from it all. He had few teeth in his head, however so I guess I was secretly not too worried about making an impression with him (It can be a serious problem when prospective dates are chosen by words and not profile pictures with a grin) He was crazy too.

I wonder if I can find a blog that just posts people's hazardous dating stories.....I would like to compare.

It Ain't Much

Everyday I chuckle inside (and sometimes out loud) when I hear what some of those Kindergartners say to each other. I love them but am glad when I get to leave for lunch!

I had a much appreciated and well-timed invitation extended to me that made my day. Thanks, AM! I love the idea. Will have to work on it for this next summer.

I am totally boring right now. Nothing new, nothing awesome. Missing people that have moved on in different ways. I am not depressed or upset. Feeling pretty good. I miss my old set of blogger friends and I know the best way to fix that is to close my Facebook account because it distracts me r from visiting and reading their blogs. I think I'll do just that.

I'm dating and let me just say, when it rains, it pours. Nothing for weeks and then, BAM! Too many to really keep up with. I just have to figure out a way to string the dates out a little more when there are multiple suitors. I haven't gone out with each one more than once but there are three that are definitely worth a second meet. I'm sure it wont last at this rate....
But, as a good friend told me just lately about possible suitors- men are like buses. If you miss one, another will be along shortly. He was a guy too.

Last recipe from the garden produce? Green tomato relish. It's has a slight Mexican flair with added cilantro, jalapenos and cumin. I think used as a salsa or mixed into any kind of wrap or on nachos will work. I plan on trying it on grilled hamburgers first though.

Ciao!

A Smattering

Ahh, Fall- a two-edged sword. Love the cool, crispness but hate the dwindling sunlight and daylight. I feel like I am taking on more reptilian needs as I get older since my favorite thing is the sun. After June 21st, I feel under the gun to make the most of the summer because daylight hours start getting shorter. I can always hear my dad pointing that out every year. I don't know if he was happy about it or sad like me. Probably happy in the later years since it would be closer to bringing the farming year to a close.

J's drum major career in field marching is about to start on Saturday. I am pretty proud of him. Thankfully it is not required of him to wear a meat dress or something equally unusual. I love his original salute to the judges that the band is ready to take the field. What a ham.

Girly is doing better at college. She is still dating the boy from high school which is causing her to view her week as something to get through so she can get home to him. Even though I like the kid, I wish they were not together. I know she feels very insecure about being on her own too, on campus and in the city. That is the biggest hurdle for her. It will take time.

Keeping on the dating circuit. Must. Not. Give. Up.

Apple Festival '10

One more festival down in the history books. Weather was bad with tons of rain until Saturday morning and then BEAUTY! Cool, sunny and dry. There was the need for straw to be spread over muddy places in the craft tents which wreaked havoc on my breathing part so I sit here coughing as I type. Never knew I had allergies.
J is the high school drum major- did I mention that in an earlier post?- so he led the band in the parade and at the concert. I was really proud. He did a great job. Their field marching show is Lady Ga Ga songs and they played all of those at the concert.











E has moved to the university in Springfield to start classes and as you can see by these move -in pics, she is stressed. She was in no mood for me to snap these. She has been there three weeks now and is doing much better adjusting.

Feeling pretty upbeat lately. Things are smoothing out and I guess I can let my self feel a bit of optimism. Not particularly over any one thing- just overall.
Erin is in school and has managed to get through the first week and begin the second week. Just had lunch with her- a first mother/daughter/university lunch. I was playing hooky today to be in town so I met her. She is so timid, it's just hard for me to relate to. I don't recall having the same kinds of issues she faces every day. But I try hard to let her know I care about what she is trying to work out and that I am trying my best to help her sort it out. It takes a lot of energy and time to talk her through a problem, such as if she should try to move to the original dorm she wanted in but didn't get in, if she should continue to rely on an older college friend who has reached out to Erin as a help or less important things like what she should do about eating alone in the cafeteria. That is one thing I don't like about myself. I want to tell her to get over it, deal with it or otherwise, handle it herself. I almost say that when I hit a wall and then I stop myself and make myself continue. The worst thing I can think of is to end up with a daughter who thinks I don't care about her completely. On the other side of the coin, she should be handling these things on her own and not relying on my opinion. I'm trying to wean her off of my opinion and make her own choices.

Weird but I made a list of things I hate while waiting at my appointment.
Ironing. Hate it with a passion. My mom started me on pillow cases and hankies when I was small and okay, they were easy, right? Square pieces of fabric- cotton fabric. A little steam, a little spray starch- BAM! done! Then I graduated to my jeans and shirts, not too bad but not fun. Now I have stuff like khakis and capris that need an iron job to look presentable as well as button up shirts with Lycra and cotton or rayon and cotton. What a waste of time and talk about a mondo hot flash while ironing. Sheesh.
Im going to lump sewing in here too. I. Hate. Sewing. I understand I might have gone naked (not pretty) when I was younger if my mother hadn't sewn but just don't ask me to whip something out. I even resent having to sew on a button when it comes off. Why is it so hard for those sweatshop folks to use more than 2 mm of thread to attach a button? (JK about the sweatshop comment, not the 2mm of thread, BTW. Don't send me hate) My Home Economics teacher in 7th and 8th grade hated me which may be related to my major dislike of the craft. She may have had a good reason. I own up to the fact I told her she was teaching the wrong way to assemble something during our sewing unit- can't remember the garment. I had told my mom about my project and she commented it was going together wrong and I promptly told the teacher. I wasn't brilliant, you know. Everything else I did in the class was looked down on and graded poorly. I got back at her and left a mangled snake on her chair at the end of the year. I often wonder if she knew it was me?. hehe.

One unrelated-to- domesticity job I would like to remove from my daily schedule is lunch duty. I maaayyy have mentioned this before. IT SUCKS! Although I would say so far this year the fifth grade, who is the least-liked group for lunch teachers and who I have to oversee, has been pretty nice. It's early yet and they could turn ugly in the blink of an eye. Usually they come back from vacation changed already. I'll go out on a limb and say this group of fifth graders seem in control. Oh, God! Why did I put that out into the universe!? I had them in lunch duty as third graders and they were all right then, too. I just think the fact we have to watch over kids while they eat their lunch is crazy. How do they think these kids will ever manage to control themselves if they aren't expected to be good? Another thing is, the teachers used to have to eat in the lunch room and if someone was behaving badly, they were called down. Nobody would ever consider throwing pickles around or filling a section of their plate with enough ketchup to drown a horse. Now the teachers are allowed to eat in their classrooms so now no one but us lunchroom jailers are in the cafeteria to watch behavior. That's a waste of my time I could be using for instruction. That's the real issue here to me. I like the kids, honestly. No, really!
Last thing I hate is to replace the empty toilet paper roll. Why the h-e-double hockey sticks is it me that ends up changing it so often? I must be more of a frequent visitor or maybe I just lose track of how many days it's been. The only upside to it is I am aware of the tp supply so we rarely run low before we are stocked up again.
All right, that's a wrap of the list items. Not too bad- only four things. Check back late soon for the list of things I love to do.

Something I should have said publicly many years ago when Shia LeBeouf was still on the show Even Stevens is...he is going to be a popular actor someday. (I think I said it to my niece and nephew) I am not sure about his range really and he may not end up being too great but he certainly hasn't disappeared like many child stars do. That was just a passing thought...

Additional job I'm adding to the list now totaling five: Adding trimmer line to the spool on the weed-eater. Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!
Okay, that's all I got!

Spoutings from My Brain

It's so dry here. I am not watching the weather anymore so I don't have to hear or see anything that says 'drought'. My water bill was huge but still manageable. I've begun to take over the watering at the school gardens since they weren't getting done. Things are in bad shape. The temperatures have backed off to a very pleasant 55 degrees at night and a beautiful 85 degrees during the sunny dry days. It's made for some lovely moon-filled nights. When the moon is full and it's still, I would love to be outside but alas, I like my sleep too much.

My daughter completed her first week of college and lived to tell about it. She arrived home and spent a few hours with us- eating and laundering- and then moved on to the other household she lives at- the boyfriend's house- not to be seen again. I know she is home since her bedroom door is closed. She apparently came in during the night...

My mother is visiting for the first time since E graduated. I think there is shopping in my future.

I completed my first full week back to work. My butt was kicked. I fell asleep in my chair at 8 pm last night and struggled to wake up the rest of the evening. Finally my mom went to bed and I didn't even know when. I made up the couch bed and promptly fell asleep until 7 this morning. (I know you were waiting for me to share my sleeping habits, right?)

One thing that irks me about school this year, although I can understand it- we have a filter that will allow us access with a warning but logs us as we travel around the internet. The word from administration is not to go to anything but the school email site because there is too much personal internet usage during instructional time. They are gunning for us. As far as understanding- I have found co-workers on Facebook and other sites while the kids are doing independent work. So, I don't get online at all during school . That's quite a change from my summer routine.

Later, dudes...

Certainties

This house is going to take some getting used to with one occupant missing.
The boy is going to miss his sister while she is away at college, no matter what he says or how he acts.
I'm going to miss her for the same reason.
The utilities MAY cost me less (once this heat wave/drought is over).
There is an extra bed- maybe I should consider boarders- who have to leave while she comes home to visit- that might put a crimp in how well that boarder idea works.
No more having someone ick out over what the meal is- J will eat anything and not complain....much.
Crap, I don't have a designated driver anymore.

Re-Post

I thought this was good enough to put up again.



To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine.. and those who don't.
As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom,
in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials,
scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day,
at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of
Escherichia coli, (E. coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we
are consuming 1 kilo of poop.
However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila,
rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a
purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water
and be full of shit .

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing it
as a public service

Attention: Santa

Greeny's Christmas Wish List:
leaf blower
electric hedge trimmer
recipe for neighbor's incessantly barking dog

My blog is a mess. The blog roll on the side has some inaccurate links I've never fixed, it's still the same old background, I haven't posted in forever, I haven't commented in forever and I haven't added any new links or ..Geez, I can't even remember the terminology to describe it.

There was some scientific study I just heard about recently that talked about a person's
facebook page resembling their personality. I'm thinking my blog reveals my personality.
Why, you ask, am I always talking about my problems, my personality, my depressions, my need to be noticed?! Glad you ask.
I'm just self-centered and in my own little egotistical world. I like to talk about myself, explain myself, have people comment on my...self. That's it in a nutshell. Nut is right, you say.

It goes back to when I was a child and nobody wanted to hear anything from me, or at least that's the way it seemed to me. I never talked with anyone. No healthy conversations, no talks about fears, questions about boys, questions about girls (!), thoughts on the future or past. I didn't have close friends for a long time, my sister was gone and married when I might have broken out of my shell, my brother was rather condescending, my parents were mad busy keeping us fed and housed, no grandparents left.

I know I'm fine, really. I was just writing in a stream of consciousness.
I do know I grew up with communication gaps because I was so much younger than my sibs and had some kind of weird thought process that led me to believe I didn't matter much. All in my head.
But my blog is a mess, don't you agree?

4th of July Destination

Michigan- more to the point, White Lake.

I am really in need of clarification of myself and my life, my misunderstandings of myself and life in general. See? Even that whole sentence was confusing...Confused and dazed. That's what I am and after most of my difficult times, I have had to "reset". This time is no different.
Anyway, I am reading as much as I can get my hands on to deal with my confusion. I know I will be all right and this will be a growing point for me. It just feels bad and I want to hurry up and feel better. I know I can't.
Something pretty mind-boggling was what I read earlier here http://www.bspcn.com/2009/02/01/how-to-deal-with-being-dumped/
It deals with love. Love of one's self and of another. I printed it off and plan on rereading it until it is memorized.
Many parts of it make complete sense but the part that is so amazing to me is this-

"Within the depths of our souls, we are all connected by this unifying and essential energy of life – love. We occasionally experience glimpses of this deep connection through various and accidental happenstances, such as:

• A gratifying and intimate conversation with another person. Sharing and expressing your thoughts honestly and openly.
  
• Creative expressions such as playing music, writing, drawing, dancing, cooking, designing or even computer programming.
  
• Meditation, prayers or communing with your chosen religious group.
  
• Communing with nature during a hike, a walk or while sitting by the bed of a river flowing beautifully in front of you.
  
• During sexual orgasm (The Dalai Lama has written about this.)

When we fall in love with another person, we are essentially experiencing the love that was within us all along. The person is merely acting like a mirror reflecting our soul back at us. Technically, we can’t “fall” in love, because we are already made of love. The other person, much like a musical instrument, is the catalyst allowing us to recognize the beauty that’s already within us.

Because of our lack of understanding that love resides within us, and that we actually have the power to invoke it on our own, we credit it to the other person for giving love to us. This feeling is so strong and extraordinary, that we become addictive and possessive. We want to capture it and keep it fixed, so that we can – at last – keep this heightened feeling forever.The desire and dependency to keep this form fixed, becomes a source of self identification that artificially justifies who we are as physical beings. We become attached to the fixed idea of how our relationship should go and our ego quickly becomes the main investor in this fund of a relationship.The truth is that, everyone and everything is in a constant flow of change. The changes in us and in our external circumstances are inevitable and undeniable. When we change, the dynamics of our relationships change – not just romantic ones, but also friendships, family ties, and our relationships with co-workers.Over time, some relationships strengthen and some grow apart. When people grow apart, it doesn’t mean that either one of them was a bad person, but rather that they’ve learned all that they needed to from the other person, and that it’s time to move on.When it’s time to move on, we hold onto this invisible box that contains an idealized and fixated form of how things should be. We unconsciously and instinctively fall into the false believe that we must stop the love when we are no longer romantically involved.Because we attribute love as being ‘to’ this other person external to us, pain happens when we forcefully try to kill the love, which is actually within us.

Let’s repeat: Pain happens when we forcefully kill the love that’s within us. "

A New Day

"The Shift" happened right after she switched her tassel from left to right (or was it right to left?).
My first born is now a college freshman. She seemed so serene for which I am relieved. I don't think I could have handled her in an emotional turmoil very well.
My family all came to see her walk and it was a wonderful, warm- fuzzies day for us all.

Travel Info, Please

The High School Band is headng to NYC May 28th. We will be staying until June 1st. Time will be spent seeing the Broadway show "In the Heights" and the Blue Man Group, Times Square touring, Rockefeller Center touring, China Town and Little Italy. They will be performing on Liberty Island our last day there. Perhaps with nice weather we will see some of Central Park (we have a four- hour window). If weather is bad, perhaps the Metropolitan (yes!). Any restaurants or places you all would recommend not missing? Perhaps a falafel stand? Don't forget, our budget is meager.

Im looking forward to the trip since I haven 't been that far north and east before. I only have issues with the bus trip and subsequent overbearing adults that will be present. Thankfully, my hotel room mates are some of the well-behaved. I shall be hunting for heavy-duty ear plugs and "happy" medications to take with me.

I joined the Y's book club, meeting once a month. You know the formula.
Our first book was The Last Song by Nicholas Sparks. I am not a fan of sweet books like that as a rule.
Our next selection will be My Heart Remembers by Kim Vogel Sawyer and then for May we read The Shack by William P. Young. I think of the two, Ill enjoy the second best.

Anyone read any of these books?

Im dating a guy, just a guy. He is smart and witty and a couple years younger than me. I don't think that makes me a cougar, does it? Please say it doesn't.

Offspring Updates

High school Homecoming was this past Friday night. Here is E with her guy- he is so cute and such a nice guy. Yes, there is a big diff in height but he is such a good guy it doesn't even matter to her. They are two grades apart but only one year in age. I didn't think that when Slim left for college, she would ever find someone here to date but K is a wonderful guy and she is lucky to have someone so decent.





J went to an "Ugly Prom" lately as a Rick Astley look-alike. Now, unfortunately, with so many compliments of how much he looked like Rick, J decided he should add this ensemble to his normal school wardrobe. Fortunately, he didn't add the hairdo to it.
He is however growing his hair out and when I say growing it out, I mean REALLY growing it out. I just had him get an inch cut off and it is still crazy big. He enjoys playing the cowbell in pep band each home game while he "head bangs" letting the hair make a statement. It's made him a celeb of sorts, with people stopping him in McDonalds and other places to ask if he is the kid playing cowbell at the games. Part of that is because of the hair and part is the dancing he does along with the playing. He won the most spirited student award during Homecoming, winning $25. Even the officials were asking the band director about him. Crazy.
He has a plan for the hair. He is hoping to sell quadrants of his head- 4 in all- for $25 each and those who purchase can choose what he does or they want to do to that portion of hair. I don't think, short of burning it off, he will say no to anything. The money goes into his NYC trip fund for this May. That, my friends, is guts.

Obvious Trend You Might Recognize

I found some interesting advice on a subject I'm mulling over. Am I too picky? I haven't been through nearly enough men to pick one out. I know it takes a bunch before any rise to the surface for consideration (see?-even that sounded snooty).
Bottom line- compromise. I don't know the perfect balance of compromise. I suppose it will have to be a careful consideration and not a snap decision, huh?
Maybe I should read this.
I keep looking around me and seeing men with women and wondering "how did they decide on each other? What drew them together and what is their story? Surely I can do this. "

This is the short little article.
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/dating-advice-7-mistakes-single-women-make-580573/

More On the Subject

I found this article this morning while searching. It is powerful but so commonsensical.

-Some men become attracted to women who intimidate them. It could be because of her physical presence, because of her intelligence, or even because she showered attention on him when it was desperately needed. He feels the need to be with her despite feeling inadequate. And in some cases, he feels that she will complete him as a man.

But, the outcome of that interaction generally leads to one thing; his becoming vulnerable and submissive to a woman who he considers his superior. At that point, he'll do anything that he feels will make her happy. Whether it makes him happy or not.

What he has become is a human doormat. Someone who is walked on and taken advantage of because he lacks the backbone, and more importantly, the self-esteem to be on equal footing in the relationship. He has allowed himself to become subservient to the woman or the relationship, and has placed himself in a position from which it is difficult to recover.

Falling in love is the emotional response to a physical stimulus that begins with an initial attraction. Unfortunately, too many couples attempt to build relationships based solely on what initially attracted them to each other, but fail to see beyond the surface and into the core of the individual.

Most women want a man in their lives who embody the qualities of strength, stability, honesty, and emotional sensitivity. They want a man who is able to make decisions, but is capable of making them feel a part of the decision making process. Women want love, and compassion, to be swept off of their feet, but respected for their own individuality.

Most of all, they want security. They want to feel secure in the knowledge that they are physically and emotionally safe because the man in their lives is capable of handling almost any situation. When a woman uncovers shortcomings, she both loses a level of respect, and feels that she has to compensate for those shortcomings.

At that point, the doormat becomes someone who is there simply to fulfill some of that woman's needs. He can't be depended upon to fully take charge of a situation, but he may provide stability in other areas that make him too important to abandon completely. Generally, that area is as a financial enabler.

The best relationships are nurtured into partnerships. Each person brings certain strengths into the relationship that compliment the other's shortcomings. They share open lines of communication, and are able to work together toward the favorable resolution of any challenges. There is a mutual respect for each other, and neither partner considers the other any greater or any less important to the relationship.

Doormats are either shaken or beaten until they are of no more use. Who would ever want to feel that way in a relationship?