Thursday, February 04, 2010

More On the Subject

I found this article this morning while searching. It is powerful but so commonsensical.

-Some men become attracted to women who intimidate them. It could be because of her physical presence, because of her intelligence, or even because she showered attention on him when it was desperately needed. He feels the need to be with her despite feeling inadequate. And in some cases, he feels that she will complete him as a man.

But, the outcome of that interaction generally leads to one thing; his becoming vulnerable and submissive to a woman who he considers his superior. At that point, he'll do anything that he feels will make her happy. Whether it makes him happy or not.

Falling in love is the emotional response to a physical stimulus that begins with an initial attraction. Unfortunately, too many couples attempt to build relationships based solely on what initially attracted them to each other, but fail to see beyond the surface and into the core of the individual.

Most women want a man in their lives who embody the qualities of strength, stability, honesty, and emotional sensitivity. They want a man who is able to make decisions, but is capable of making them feel a part of the decision making process. Women want love, and compassion, to be swept off of their feet, but respected for their own individuality.

Most of all, they want security. They want to feel secure in the knowledge that they are physically and emotionally safe because the man in their lives is capable of handling almost any situation. When a woman uncovers shortcomings, she both loses a level of respect, and feels that she has to compensate for those shortcomings.

At that point, the doormat becomes someone who is there simply to fulfill some of that woman's needs. He can't be depended upon to fully take charge of a situation, but he may provide stability in other areas that make him too important to abandon completely. Generally, that area is as a financial enabler.

The best relationships are nurtured into partnerships. Each person brings certain strengths into the relationship that compliment the other's shortcomings. They share open lines of communication, and are able to work together toward the favorable resolution of any challenges. There is a mutual respect for each other, and neither partner considers the other any greater or any less important to the relationship.

Doormats are either shaken or beaten until they are of no more use. Who would ever want to feel that way in a relationship?


Blogger greeny said...

When I found this today looking for some synonyms for "doormat" referring to the guy I met last week, I thought of a few people this related strongly to. I have no idea if they can read this since Im not sure Ive ever given my blog address to them but Id hate to chance it so no names.
I am guilty of being a doormat myself in early years and losing myself within the relationship. Very unhealthy.

6:16 PM  

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