Offspring Updates

High school Homecoming was this past Friday night. Here is E with her guy- he is so cute and such a nice guy. Yes, there is a big diff in height but he is such a good guy it doesn't even matter to her. They are two grades apart but only one year in age. I didn't think that when Slim left for college, she would ever find someone here to date but K is a wonderful guy and she is lucky to have someone so decent.





J went to an "Ugly Prom" lately as a Rick Astley look-alike. Now, unfortunately, with so many compliments of how much he looked like Rick, J decided he should add this ensemble to his normal school wardrobe. Fortunately, he didn't add the hairdo to it.
He is however growing his hair out and when I say growing it out, I mean REALLY growing it out. I just had him get an inch cut off and it is still crazy big. He enjoys playing the cowbell in pep band each home game while he "head bangs" letting the hair make a statement. It's made him a celeb of sorts, with people stopping him in McDonalds and other places to ask if he is the kid playing cowbell at the games. Part of that is because of the hair and part is the dancing he does along with the playing. He won the most spirited student award during Homecoming, winning $25. Even the officials were asking the band director about him. Crazy.
He has a plan for the hair. He is hoping to sell quadrants of his head- 4 in all- for $25 each and those who purchase can choose what he does or they want to do to that portion of hair. I don't think, short of burning it off, he will say no to anything. The money goes into his NYC trip fund for this May. That, my friends, is guts.

Obvious Trend You Might Recognize

I found some interesting advice on a subject I'm mulling over. Am I too picky? I haven't been through nearly enough men to pick one out. I know it takes a bunch before any rise to the surface for consideration (see?-even that sounded snooty).
Bottom line- compromise. I don't know the perfect balance of compromise. I suppose it will have to be a careful consideration and not a snap decision, huh?
Maybe I should read this.
I keep looking around me and seeing men with women and wondering "how did they decide on each other? What drew them together and what is their story? Surely I can do this. "

This is the short little article.
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/dating-advice-7-mistakes-single-women-make-580573/

More On the Subject

I found this article this morning while searching. It is powerful but so commonsensical.

-Some men become attracted to women who intimidate them. It could be because of her physical presence, because of her intelligence, or even because she showered attention on him when it was desperately needed. He feels the need to be with her despite feeling inadequate. And in some cases, he feels that she will complete him as a man.

But, the outcome of that interaction generally leads to one thing; his becoming vulnerable and submissive to a woman who he considers his superior. At that point, he'll do anything that he feels will make her happy. Whether it makes him happy or not.

What he has become is a human doormat. Someone who is walked on and taken advantage of because he lacks the backbone, and more importantly, the self-esteem to be on equal footing in the relationship. He has allowed himself to become subservient to the woman or the relationship, and has placed himself in a position from which it is difficult to recover.

Falling in love is the emotional response to a physical stimulus that begins with an initial attraction. Unfortunately, too many couples attempt to build relationships based solely on what initially attracted them to each other, but fail to see beyond the surface and into the core of the individual.

Most women want a man in their lives who embody the qualities of strength, stability, honesty, and emotional sensitivity. They want a man who is able to make decisions, but is capable of making them feel a part of the decision making process. Women want love, and compassion, to be swept off of their feet, but respected for their own individuality.

Most of all, they want security. They want to feel secure in the knowledge that they are physically and emotionally safe because the man in their lives is capable of handling almost any situation. When a woman uncovers shortcomings, she both loses a level of respect, and feels that she has to compensate for those shortcomings.

At that point, the doormat becomes someone who is there simply to fulfill some of that woman's needs. He can't be depended upon to fully take charge of a situation, but he may provide stability in other areas that make him too important to abandon completely. Generally, that area is as a financial enabler.

The best relationships are nurtured into partnerships. Each person brings certain strengths into the relationship that compliment the other's shortcomings. They share open lines of communication, and are able to work together toward the favorable resolution of any challenges. There is a mutual respect for each other, and neither partner considers the other any greater or any less important to the relationship.

Doormats are either shaken or beaten until they are of no more use. Who would ever want to feel that way in a relationship?

So give me some thoughts on this subject, people.
Hypothetically, would you say an hour of conversation with a guy would be adequate to decide if he was someone you'd like to spend time with again or is that not adequate? If you got a fairly strong idea of what he was like from really listening to what he was saying, would you go with that?