It's time to take my father to the nursing home. My sister called last night to say it can't wait any longer. Things have spiraled downward in an incredibly bad way the last 2 weeks.

I knew it was close. I am surprisingly calm about it. I believe it is time. We made him as comfortable as we could until now. The facility he is to go to is at least a fine one that we are familiar with.

I worry about taking my children with me. I would prefer to leave my children out of it but I can't work anything else out differently since people are already vacationing or working and the close set of grandparents are both ill.

I'll be back.

Generating Some Interest

Anne tagged me demanding 7 things about me that are interesting/ meaningful/useless (take your pick).
And here they are...

1. I want to fly in a fighter jet to see land going by at 700 miles an hour and to see what pulling some g's is like.
2. I would get a tatoo of a fern frond probably on the small of my back but I would prefer it to be in henna-colored ink. I don't like the blue-green tone usually used.
3. I would spend money on plants before I would buy something to drink, even if I were thristy.
4. I want to snorkel in the five most beautiful snorkeling places in the world. I'll get back to you on locations when I investigate where those five places would be.
5. I will without a doubt have a farm with heirloom chickens for eggs and meat...eventually.
6. I feel I should have lived in the 1800's as a country woman or pioneer woman. Yes, I read the "Little House" books but I felt this well before I read them.
7. I could have easily been an herpetologist or entymologist since I am ready and willing to handle and observe reptiles and insects up close and personal.

Interestingly, about #6, I read sometime back a blog on which a gentleman surmised living in the past, especially in the 19th century was certainly not an easy thing and the idea of dreaming about it romantically was the stupidest thing he could think of. I understood what he was saying. Life was not a chair of bowlies back then. I stand by my original thought, however.

Ok, I don't have seven people to tag that I think will do this but here goes.

AMKingsfield, Mom, Lorraine, Iamnot, Suz, Lisa p, Windblownbutterfly

Summer Is Upon Us.

Last day of school! We made it without killing each other or anyone else so we will stay out of jail at least for the summer!
Plans include defrosting the half of pitcher full of margaritas when I come home and steak on the barbie tonight with kids.
I'll let you know what later plans are.
Anne, I've got stuff ready. I'll get it on soon.
Thanks for the tag, too.

Dead Air

Lurking, not writing. Big whoop, I know.

One of the biggest challenges I feel I face as a parent is figuring out when to push for what I think is good for my kids and when to allow room for my kids to decide for themselves.


Another big one is being ready for their answer to my questions I don't really like without making my kids feel they should have told me what I wanted to hear instead. In other words, accepting who they are and what they like without judgement.

Last night after his pops concert he had just performed in, I asked my son how much he enjoyed having performed. He shrugged his shoulders and said he wished he could have been home playing with friends. I was very disappointed in his answer, having loved every minute of performing in my band days, even 5th grade. After he walked away, I settled down to realize he just isn't me and I shouldn't be expecting all the "right" answers. And this was fairly inconsecquential. What about the really big incidents in his life? I have to be ready for the big stuff.

There is nothing unusual about these challenges. But they both have me thinking and worrying fairly constantly.

I sure would like to have more instinct to work with on the first one. Being able to make a quick call would be a monumental thing in my life! I spend an awful long time mulling things over sometimes and I wouldn't say it gets me great results either. To make J participate more in things he tends to shy away from, to force my daughter to call for her own hair appointment and to order her own food at a restaurant and more weighty things too. I think back on my own life and wish my parents had pushed me a bit more with constructive help and a direction and dialogue. But then would I have been more than what I am now or just resentful they pushed me?

The second challenge is more of an adjustment really. I like to think my kids take after me and enjoy things like I did at their age or do now. But many time I am slapped in the face with the reality that they are their own persons. It's actually a wonderful feeling after the burn had dissipated. I can enjoy the thought they are certainly unique people. I don't want "Mini Me's".

One of my best friends has a daughter a few years out of high school. This daughter revealed through many troubling episodes she was gay which is not really a shock to me. I sort of saw it from her. But it absolutely killed my friend. This was her only daughter. The kind of daughter who is a best friend and shopping buddy, a girly-girl daughter, sharing dreams of a marriage and family. Trouble was, my friend ended up with really broken dreams because they were her dreams, not her daughter's. She is only now recovering enough to share good time with her. They care deeply for each other and it's a tight knit family. She can treat the daughter with loving kindness. But she feels she will never get over it from a mom's standpoint.

I don't want to invest time dreaming of what my kids will accomplish and what directions they'll take because if I route things out for them in my mind, I would undoubtedly change their ideas for their own futures. I try really hard, hopefully succeeding, to encourage them to follow their ideas. I tell them I am their biggest fan and want what they want as long as it isn't going to maim or kill them.

But sometimes it's too much mystery for me to handle. I don't tell them what I'm thinking. What are they going to do with their lives? What are they going to do wrong and right? What have I done right or wrong for them and to them? How much will they have to shell out for psychoanalysis? I have to prepare and plan for all that.


I don't call them my little science projects for nothing.

Prom Night 2007

Best friend Shasa helped the day fly by with application of french nail tips and LOTS of hair prep.

Photo op before the guys arrive.






Slim arrives. Funny...he gets rid of the fast food remnants before he remembers the corsage. I didn't say anything to him. He looks sharp!



E and Slim in one of many photos. Slim"s mom and dad, Shasa's mom and dad and I were all taking photos.







One last pic outside with everyone in attendance.


Now tell me why after they all left do I want to cry?

Ain't It the Truth, Ain't It the truth!?

In an email from my sis-
Next Season on Survivor

Have you heard about the next planned "Survivor" show? Three businessmen and three businesswomen will be dropped in an elementary school classroom for 1 school year. Each business person will be provided with a copy of his/her school district's curriculum, and a class of 28 - 32 students. Each class will have a minimum of five learning-disabled children, three with A.D.D., one gifted child, and two who speak limited English. Three students will be labeled with severe behavior problems. Each business person must complete lesson plans at least 3 days in advance, with annotations for curriculum objectives and modify, organize, or create their materials accordingly. They will be required to teach students, handle misconduct, implement technology, document attendance, write referrals, correct homework, make bulletin boards, compute grades, complete report cards, document benchmarks, communicate with parents, and arrange parent conferences. They must also stand in their doorway between class changes to monitor the hallways. In addition, they will complete fire drills, tornado drills, and [Code Red] drills for shooting attacks each month. They must attend workshops, faculty meetings,and attend curriculum development meetings. They must also tutor students who are behind and strive to get their 2 non-English speaking children proficient enough to take the Terra Nova and AIMS tests. If they are sick or having a bad day they must not let it show. Each day they must incorporate reading, writing, math, science, and social studies into the program. They must maintain discipline and provide an educationally stimulating environment to motivate students at all times. If all students do not wish to cooperate, work, or learn, the teacher will be held responsible. The business people will only have access to the public golf course on the weekends, but with their new salary, they may not be able to afford it. There will be no access to vendors who want to take them out to lunch, and lunch will be limited to thirty minutes, which is not counted as part of their work day. The business people will be permitted to use a student restroom, as long as another survival candidate can supervise their class. If the copier is operable, they may make copies of necessary materials before, or after, school. However, they cannot surpass their monthly limit of copies. The business people must continually advance their education, at their expense, and on their own time. The winner of this Season of Survivor will be allowed to return to their job.

Quote of the day: "I am extremely skeptical of the presence of fruit in Newton's life".

I guess a person would have to have seen the PBS show about Newton to find this funny and even then, I understand humor is subjective. When the professor at Cambridge stated this, I thought I would fall off the couch laughing. I imagined a tee shirt with this quote printed on it.

Cool thing about Newton. He always believed that science and religion had to co-exist since one was tied completely to the other( in his mind, anyway). Also, he did not believe in the Holy Trinity, that Jesus and the Holy Spirit were not on the same footing as God. He kept silent about it however and only wrote about his beliefs, thereby preserving his standing in the scientific world.