A post from last year but really helpful ideas and reminders for me. Ive done well with #2 and #3. Im really hard on myself when it comes to knowing if I've managed to do #4 adequately. #1- meh, not too good with that. I am honest and don't gossip very often but the part about saying what I mean is troublesome. I do have a habit of working to only say good or constructive things.
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. -I think of the people who I admire and when they speak, its after a pause to reflect what it is they want to say. That old adage of "think before you speak".
2. Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering. -Ok, really useful if I'd understood that concept a long time ago. And I try to help the kids with this as well, reminding them when someone is hateful directly to them, no telling what else is are has gone on in their lives to cause them to lash out. Understanding some can take some of the sting out of the meaness.
3. Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life. -Simple and oh, so helpful to have learned this years ago. There was much more to this agreement than just the communication encouragement.
4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret. -When I read this agreement in the book, I thought "how stupid! How can we expect to do our best when we many times don't have it in us?" But it manages to take the pressure off by the next few sentences and then it does make sense.
Anyway, as they say, these are guiding principals we can use on a daily basis if it helps flesh out existing principals we live with. I'm pretty much a "do unto others" kinda gal but but I need more.
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. -I think of the people who I admire and when they speak, its after a pause to reflect what it is they want to say. That old adage of "think before you speak".
2. Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering. -Ok, really useful if I'd understood that concept a long time ago. And I try to help the kids with this as well, reminding them when someone is hateful directly to them, no telling what else is are has gone on in their lives to cause them to lash out. Understanding some can take some of the sting out of the meaness.
3. Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life. -Simple and oh, so helpful to have learned this years ago. There was much more to this agreement than just the communication encouragement.
4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret. -When I read this agreement in the book, I thought "how stupid! How can we expect to do our best when we many times don't have it in us?" But it manages to take the pressure off by the next few sentences and then it does make sense.
Anyway, as they say, these are guiding principals we can use on a daily basis if it helps flesh out existing principals we live with. I'm pretty much a "do unto others" kinda gal but but I need more.
posted by Unknown at 10:00 AM
3 Comments:
I LOVE the Four Agreements. I struggle the most with #2--I just want everyone's approval all the time (who doesn't? *grin*), and when someone disapproves of me, I have a hard time not taking it personally.
I think if you "have the habit of working to say only good or constructive things" you are following #1 exactly. You are using the power of your word in the direction of love, building others up. I know a guy who has no filter on his brain and says just whatever he thinks, and usually it ends up hurting others. He's a jerk.
You're doing fine.
And I have the same problem that Miss Healthypants has. Not as bad as I used to, but it's still there with those who are important to me.
M.H. I have struggled with #2 all my life until I read this book. I work at it and am not always successful but certainly I have seen a difference and it's freeing.
Hi John. Yeah, it's still work in progress, but like I told M.H., I am seeing some success and it feels good. The old adage of don't say anything if you can't say something nice.
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