Monday, August 04, 2008

Something Light- Talk Amongst Yaselves

It's tough being a man...

a.. If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.

b.. If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.

c.. If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.

d.. If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

e.. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation.

f.. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.

g.. If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.

h.. If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

i.. If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.

j.. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

k.. If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're an insensitive a**hole.

l.. If you thump her, it's wife bashing.

m.. If she thumps you, it's self-defense.

n.. If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.

o.. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

p.. If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.

q.. If she asks you, it's a favor.

r.. If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're a pervert.

s.. If you don't, you're gay.

t.. If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist.

u.. If you don't, you're unromantic.

v.. If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.

w.. If you don't, you're a slob.

x.. If you buy her flowers, you're after something.

y.. If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

z.. If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of yourself.

aa.. If you aren't, you're not ambitious.

ab.. If she has a headache, she's tired.

ac.. If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.

ad.. If you want it too often, you're oversexed.

ae.. If you don't, there must be someone else.

NO WONDER MEN DIE BEFORE WOMEN! THEY WANT TO!!

5 Comments:

Blogger Gnomeself Be True said...

One thing I've gotten from 2 marriages and 2 kids...I no longer fear death.

:-)

9:36 AM  
Blogger Simon said...

Hear hear - It IS tough being a man... but childbirth?? No thanks.

10:34 AM  
Blogger John said...

Amen Sister!! Preachin to the choir, here.

3:12 PM  
Blogger walk2write said...

And how much did they pay you to write this? Great sermon, though. It makes you think about all the pressure men (considerate ones, anyway) are under constantly to make amends for what society perceives that they lack. Your post almost makes me regret my latest one. I did say almost. :>)

1:13 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

w2w, I am not original enough to have come up with this list. And I only posted it because I didn't have anything else to post and to get people up in arms but it looks like it wasn't too disturbing for my readers. They were very congenial...
My interest is piqued- I'll get over to yours and read it!

6:06 AM  

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