Monday, August 18, 2008

Extra, Extra!

Laws of Life


Murphy's First Law for Wives:
If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation:
The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.

The Salary Axiom:
The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

Miller's Law of Insurance:
Insurance covers everything except what happens.

First Law of Living:
As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you'll want to be doing something else.

Weiner's Law of Libraries:
There are no answers, only cross-references.

Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness:
Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.

The Grocery Bag Law:
The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is always hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

Lampner's Law of Employment:
When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.

6 Comments:

Blogger Anne said...

Grocery bag law II:
your child will find and eat that candybar before you unpack the groceries.

7:19 PM  
Blogger Mom said...

All so true.

9:22 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Hehe, Anne. Aint it the truth, aint it the truth?

9:36 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Murphy's - true even if you write it down.

Kaufman's Paradox - this is happening at my school this year. They are sending email to me to tell me who is late.

Lapner had it right, as well.

10:01 PM  
Blogger AM Kingsfield said...

Telephone Law:
The ringing of the phone reminds your children of the things they need to ask of you.

7:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So very true.

7:27 PM  

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