Wassss UP
I had the weekend to myself and not a piddly thing did I get to do outside. We had 30 degreee weather and SNOW! $%@(&&*^@! All freakin' weekend.
I did go outside Sunday but just from my car to the mall then back to my car to the large chain department store back to the car,....you get it, I know.
I spent a small fortune on flowers at Lowes and the greenhouse I shop at. Renunculas, sweet potato vine, French marigolds in a beautiful deep yellow (I don't appreciate yellow much in my garden but these are to die for) and lovely succulents that will grace my sister's porch since they are about the only thing she won't kill-wish I would have thought of those sooner. Most of these purchases are for my Mother's Day gift to my mom but I don't have to give them up for awhile so I plan on enjoying them till I do.
I watched " No Country For Old Men". I was reeling from it after it went off. I'm glad I rented it but it was bleak and brutal. I figured it was going to be. I'm not sure what I want to say about it otherwise. It took me to a totally different plane of thought and feeling.
My kids came back last night from their dad's and as I was sitting there watching PBS "A Room With a View" J asked me if it was "that show, you know, the one you were watching last week- "'Sense and Sensitivity"? I busted out laughing as did my daughter and she said "Sounds like a good ad for condoms" to which we all roared. Yeah, we are doomed, I tell ya.
More testing this week and next week as well. At least the scary part has worn off and everyone is breathing normally. That is until our scores are unleashed on the community and heads will begin rolling....Uh-oh, I just signed next year's contract.
Remember my previous post "My Morning Walk Yield"? This next part is is the reasons I posted that.
It's been almost three weeks since I went to talk to our new local apple orchard owner about some work. I spent an hour with him discussing what his vision was for the place and how to go about starting some of those idea. He isn't interested in working the orchard himself. He only bought the place to improve his existing restaurant location but the orchard of peaches and apples plus some grapes needs to be taken over and he can't find a taker to lease it from him. He talked to me about starting a truck garden on two acres for saleable produce out of the building in addition to the fruit. But I was thinking about the orchard job.
Now, I have had my eye on that orchard for many years thinking about the nice locale, the beauty and draw of an orchard most of the year and the fact it's the only one we have locally and it's our main source of apples for our festival. Seems a shame that it might not be in production.
I have thought how this orchard could be that perfect place to buy spring bulbs, annuals and perennials, summer produce from local farmers only (none of that stuff that comes from 4 states away and isn't ripe), Farmers Market Saturdays with many local meat and fruit producers, artists and crafters (we have many), Fall decorations like straw bales, broom corn and Indian corn, gourds and the prized pumpkins, and then Christmas trees, fresh greens and wreaths and locally made gifts (gotta watch quality here).
I shared that with him. We talked about the truck garden and what he thought would make sense to grow. He wanted me to work after school and weekends and we would together find people I could direct in working it. I was down for that but the fact was there was way too much to be done before the field would be plant-able. Not enough time to get it done and the fact was, no one is wanting any of those jobs besides me. So I could foresee a problem of me being bogged down in Andreas and my project, my own house garden, and then a huge undertaking with this two acres. He can't find anyone to even work the orchard on a lease or otherwise.
I spent that night in a fever all night, partly because I had the flu (remember last month?) and partly because I thought I had been sent an opportunity. But I finally figured out a big piece of my puzzle.
I want to be like my dad who actually said on many occasions "I'd rather be scratching shit with the chickens than to work for anyone else but myself". In other words, he wanted to rely on himself. And he did a wonderful job. Very strong man, indeed. And we all have that propensity to be independent in my family.
Anyhow, I wanted to jump at the chance to work my own orchard, to have a local business that the town actually needs and wants and to work for myself. Hhmmm, I had a lot of thoughts but the one that kept coming back to me was " how are the kids going to handle this kind of lifestyle?" I won't be home most of the time, I won't be at a lot of their functions due to work, I won't be holding down the fort while they are out of school and keeping them lined out. They will be on their own and it scared me. No way do I think they aren't capable but it's a big change from our lifestyle now. I would miss being being there with them and yes, they could be working with me but I don't think I can manage a household, and an orchard at the same time even with them helping me. I wish I could do it but I know my limitations. I want them to have a lifestyle that is good for them and me working like I would have to work to make a successful venture would not make me a very nice mommy. I can do something like this when they are out of school.
What I learned was how much my mom job means to me and how much that counts in the world. Even if no one agreed with me, it is the truth for ME. And I don't get to the truth of myself very often. So I'm not like my dad in this area. I'm making up for it.
Sorry that was a ramble.
I did go outside Sunday but just from my car to the mall then back to my car to the large chain department store back to the car,....you get it, I know.
I spent a small fortune on flowers at Lowes and the greenhouse I shop at. Renunculas, sweet potato vine, French marigolds in a beautiful deep yellow (I don't appreciate yellow much in my garden but these are to die for) and lovely succulents that will grace my sister's porch since they are about the only thing she won't kill-wish I would have thought of those sooner. Most of these purchases are for my Mother's Day gift to my mom but I don't have to give them up for awhile so I plan on enjoying them till I do.
I watched " No Country For Old Men". I was reeling from it after it went off. I'm glad I rented it but it was bleak and brutal. I figured it was going to be. I'm not sure what I want to say about it otherwise. It took me to a totally different plane of thought and feeling.
My kids came back last night from their dad's and as I was sitting there watching PBS "A Room With a View" J asked me if it was "that show, you know, the one you were watching last week- "'Sense and Sensitivity"? I busted out laughing as did my daughter and she said "Sounds like a good ad for condoms" to which we all roared. Yeah, we are doomed, I tell ya.
More testing this week and next week as well. At least the scary part has worn off and everyone is breathing normally. That is until our scores are unleashed on the community and heads will begin rolling....Uh-oh, I just signed next year's contract.
Remember my previous post "My Morning Walk Yield"? This next part is is the reasons I posted that.
It's been almost three weeks since I went to talk to our new local apple orchard owner about some work. I spent an hour with him discussing what his vision was for the place and how to go about starting some of those idea. He isn't interested in working the orchard himself. He only bought the place to improve his existing restaurant location but the orchard of peaches and apples plus some grapes needs to be taken over and he can't find a taker to lease it from him. He talked to me about starting a truck garden on two acres for saleable produce out of the building in addition to the fruit. But I was thinking about the orchard job.
Now, I have had my eye on that orchard for many years thinking about the nice locale, the beauty and draw of an orchard most of the year and the fact it's the only one we have locally and it's our main source of apples for our festival. Seems a shame that it might not be in production.
I have thought how this orchard could be that perfect place to buy spring bulbs, annuals and perennials, summer produce from local farmers only (none of that stuff that comes from 4 states away and isn't ripe), Farmers Market Saturdays with many local meat and fruit producers, artists and crafters (we have many), Fall decorations like straw bales, broom corn and Indian corn, gourds and the prized pumpkins, and then Christmas trees, fresh greens and wreaths and locally made gifts (gotta watch quality here).
I shared that with him. We talked about the truck garden and what he thought would make sense to grow. He wanted me to work after school and weekends and we would together find people I could direct in working it. I was down for that but the fact was there was way too much to be done before the field would be plant-able. Not enough time to get it done and the fact was, no one is wanting any of those jobs besides me. So I could foresee a problem of me being bogged down in Andreas and my project, my own house garden, and then a huge undertaking with this two acres. He can't find anyone to even work the orchard on a lease or otherwise.
I spent that night in a fever all night, partly because I had the flu (remember last month?) and partly because I thought I had been sent an opportunity. But I finally figured out a big piece of my puzzle.
I want to be like my dad who actually said on many occasions "I'd rather be scratching shit with the chickens than to work for anyone else but myself". In other words, he wanted to rely on himself. And he did a wonderful job. Very strong man, indeed. And we all have that propensity to be independent in my family.
Anyhow, I wanted to jump at the chance to work my own orchard, to have a local business that the town actually needs and wants and to work for myself. Hhmmm, I had a lot of thoughts but the one that kept coming back to me was " how are the kids going to handle this kind of lifestyle?" I won't be home most of the time, I won't be at a lot of their functions due to work, I won't be holding down the fort while they are out of school and keeping them lined out. They will be on their own and it scared me. No way do I think they aren't capable but it's a big change from our lifestyle now. I would miss being being there with them and yes, they could be working with me but I don't think I can manage a household, and an orchard at the same time even with them helping me. I wish I could do it but I know my limitations. I want them to have a lifestyle that is good for them and me working like I would have to work to make a successful venture would not make me a very nice mommy. I can do something like this when they are out of school.
What I learned was how much my mom job means to me and how much that counts in the world. Even if no one agreed with me, it is the truth for ME. And I don't get to the truth of myself very often. So I'm not like my dad in this area. I'm making up for it.
Sorry that was a ramble.
posted by Unknown at 12:41 PM
5 Comments:
Two things.
First. What is a renuncula?
Second. That wasn't a ramble. That was a very well organized thought process. I felt like I was in your brain there for a minute watching the thoughts zip by. As a matter of fact, I think one of them clipped me as it went by. My forehead is bleeding.
Third. Wait, I said two things didn't I. Ok. Never mind.
You never ramble. You've listed out what went through your mind, and it came across clear and concise.
You are doing something very admirable (sound familiar?) giving up something you want for the good of your children. Im sure if you spoke to them, they would tell you to go for it and they would help out and everything would be fine - but you are not forcing them to make that decision, because you know your own 'limitation' as you put it... I would say you know your strengths. You're a wonderful mother, and I dont want any sarcastic comments about that! Its the truth.
Good choices.
When we make the choice to become a parent, our other choices are narrowed. Good on you for recognizing that.
sounds like you have looked at this opportunity from all sides and made the right decision for now. later you may want to make a different decision, but you have made a good one for now.
And, yes, what is a renuncula?
I'm not going to talk about the orchard, I want to ask about the marigolds, will you be bringing/sending some seeds to maryland? (hint hint) they will have bloomed and gone to seed by then, right?
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