Sunday Afternoon Musings
Seems like, as with everyone else, weather is the talk of the blog.
Here's my two cents. So far this morning, it's rained hard, then soft, then hard again, the wind blew hard, the sun came out, the sun disappeared, now it's snowing. Sighhhh.
I braved it and went for a walk to collect a Sunday paper. I got rained on.
I feel the distinct and overwhelming urge to throw everything, and I mean everything I don't use into the trash and get rid of it. Purge urge. I am so tired of moving stuff to get to stuff. But I find myself saying "wait, you might use that sometime) -yup, I talk myself out of it.
The kids are with their daddy this weekend. Miss them/ Glad they are away.
I'm trying my hand at getting a week's worth of meals at least planned and perhaps some of those meals cooked and ready to go. I love coming home from work and not having to spend an hour getting a meal.
I am going back and forth on hating myself/ loving myself (out of sheer desperation) for my extra weight.
Inner dialogue-
"You look mahvelous. You have the body of a goddess and swing those hips, men will go mad. Work it baby, work it!"
"Oh. My. GAWD! Look at those thighs! You look like you have camel humps on your legs! And that behind. Looks like 2 Christmas hams duking it out when you walk (MMm, hammm). So are you willing to shell out money for larger clothes or do you want to look like a sausage?"
Anything sounding familiar?
Here's my two cents. So far this morning, it's rained hard, then soft, then hard again, the wind blew hard, the sun came out, the sun disappeared, now it's snowing. Sighhhh.
I braved it and went for a walk to collect a Sunday paper. I got rained on.
I feel the distinct and overwhelming urge to throw everything, and I mean everything I don't use into the trash and get rid of it. Purge urge. I am so tired of moving stuff to get to stuff. But I find myself saying "wait, you might use that sometime) -yup, I talk myself out of it.
The kids are with their daddy this weekend. Miss them/ Glad they are away.
I'm trying my hand at getting a week's worth of meals at least planned and perhaps some of those meals cooked and ready to go. I love coming home from work and not having to spend an hour getting a meal.
I am going back and forth on hating myself/ loving myself (out of sheer desperation) for my extra weight.
Inner dialogue-
"You look mahvelous. You have the body of a goddess and swing those hips, men will go mad. Work it baby, work it!"
"Oh. My. GAWD! Look at those thighs! You look like you have camel humps on your legs! And that behind. Looks like 2 Christmas hams duking it out when you walk (MMm, hammm). So are you willing to shell out money for larger clothes or do you want to look like a sausage?"
Anything sounding familiar?
posted by Unknown at 11:59 AM
11 Comments:
i hate having that talk with myself. my inner fat girl is a black woman from georgia who likes to eat biscuits and gravy and..and..cherry cobbler. she likes to take long walks on the beach too...and she makes me buy bigger clothes. i hate that bitch somedays...but not on the days she makes me stuff my face with homemade biscuits and jam. i love her then! she's a smart woman....
now, i need to purge all this crap around my house too...just it's too cold..i keep telling myself i'll do it in the spring. y'know..spring cleaning? yeah, that's what i tell myself.
and yeah, you should work it girl. listen to your inner diva.
It's all too real, from the missing kids/ relief that they have gone to the love hate relationship with my body. I guess it's all part of being a mother/woman!
Have a cuppa and another choccie bickie and ponder a while, I'm sure it will pass x
Familiar? I wrote it! Check out my post today on plastic flowers. I too have gained weight during my winter hibernation. I live with pack rats who can't throw things out or give them away.
The very least we owe ourselves is not to indulge in what my nieces call "negative self talk"
Weather sucks here too. I understand the packrat mentality and I wonder if it's a seasonal thing because I was thinking of renting a dumpster, dropping it in the front yard and chucking everything that came to hand. Not sure what to say about the flip-floppin on the weight except that what research I have done on your blog says, Man, she looks hot! Keep shakin it if for nothing else than to make the teenies jealous.
The weather here is boring, a bit cold, might rain tomorrow.
My kids are grown. I miss my babies.
I would purge, but I'm married to a pack rat.
I used to be thin. Now I'm not. I liked myself better when I was tin. No one else seems to care.
Good grief woman, I've just caught up on your last couple of posts... I get tired just reading them, you must have bags of energy! My inner conversation usually goes something like "My God you're fat. Go on a diet". And thats about it (acutally, I know Im not 'fat' but I know I could stand to lose a few pounds... but between you and me and the rest of blogworld, I do have low self esteem which doesn't help). Have a good day greeny...
When we talk to ourselves, sometimes we are too hard on the person inside.
I just went through the same weight dialog when trying on clothes. My Sweetie detected my downward mental slide and quickly directed me into Panera - the poison and the antidote being the same.
I resented my Ex for walking out and leaving me with the two decades of stored shit. I fantasize about the retirement move and the purging
Giggle and chuckle, kimmyk.
Ellie, hi. And I like your advice. Well said!
Ho, yeah, ws. I loved your post.
And I know all women go through this. I am not truly disgusted with myself. Mostly I just don't want to buy bigger clothes.
I need to get a tatoo saying something like " no negative self-talk here".
Hi, John. heehee. Thanks for stopping by.
Mom, you have a point about no one else noticing about weight gain.
I should know that is the truth by now. But my inner dialog is evil.
Simon I didn't get all of that done. The meal s and the seed orders, yes, but checking prices for soil, and such I couldn't since no one was open by the time I got to it.
I only have occasional spurts of energy but I have the list handy for when I have them.
Amen, nina! I try not to say negative things outloud since i have a 15 year old daughter who is listening. Don't want to give her more ammunition for the pshycologist's couch.
AM, I'm chuckling.
At this time of year, that weight thing seems to rear its head (or maybe it's just because I tend to eat more brownies - the really dark chocolate kind - probably to cheer up). I don't beat myself up about it cuz I know it will be gone as soon as I can garden.
I agree - embrace the Diva in you!!
i hate that girl who says, "just this once..." and then eats even more the next time. I hate buying bigger clothes, I have having all those size 6's in my closet I can't wear anymore. grrrrr
my word verification looks like 'tankini'but it's not.
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