January 7th, 2008
Really I'm not much more informed about spirituality than I was although the comments made on the last post made me stop and think. This weekend I didn't spend time on searching for answers so much about spirituality as I did searching through the seed catalog.
As I walked this morning, I figured out my real basic problem is this:
my daily life takes everything out of me and I have nothing left as far as empathy, emotions or energy. That's why I feel empty inside.
There isn't much time to daydream or think about what I can do creatively, voluntarily in the community, educationally for my kids or me, or any of the other things I expressed a genuine interest in trying. Forget actually finding time to do any of them. The problems that come up don't get me down but I don't have much energy to take them on.
And I feel less energetic these days not from depression but just emotionally and physically. That is so not like I used to be. I was always ready to jump out of bed, coffee up and be started. I actually did physical labor, the more the better. I had exciting plans just for the day. Mentally I was ready. I'm healthy according to the medical community.
So I would say this is really just a time issue and inadequate work force. Hehe. That's all. although the spirituality thing is still on my mind.....
My weekend was spent alone, blessedly alone. I felt mentally revived.
I managed to get the down and dirty cleaning done and the messes from Christmas packed away, thrown away or otherwise dealt with. It's a good feeling. I like organization.
And my movies rentals might make people wonder about me: "Flag of Our Fathers " and "The Pianist". Both were exceptional films, especially "The Pianist".
Ok, bring on the slew of comments.
As I walked this morning, I figured out my real basic problem is this:
my daily life takes everything out of me and I have nothing left as far as empathy, emotions or energy. That's why I feel empty inside.
There isn't much time to daydream or think about what I can do creatively, voluntarily in the community, educationally for my kids or me, or any of the other things I expressed a genuine interest in trying. Forget actually finding time to do any of them. The problems that come up don't get me down but I don't have much energy to take them on.
And I feel less energetic these days not from depression but just emotionally and physically. That is so not like I used to be. I was always ready to jump out of bed, coffee up and be started. I actually did physical labor, the more the better. I had exciting plans just for the day. Mentally I was ready. I'm healthy according to the medical community.
So I would say this is really just a time issue and inadequate work force. Hehe. That's all. although the spirituality thing is still on my mind.....
My weekend was spent alone, blessedly alone. I felt mentally revived.
I managed to get the down and dirty cleaning done and the messes from Christmas packed away, thrown away or otherwise dealt with. It's a good feeling. I like organization.
And my movies rentals might make people wonder about me: "Flag of Our Fathers " and "The Pianist". Both were exceptional films, especially "The Pianist".
Ok, bring on the slew of comments.
posted by Unknown at 8:31 AM
11 Comments:
I know how you feel.
I am glad your weekend was good though. :)
I enjoyed both of those movies.
I have a pastor who tells me when I'm struggling with something that God is pursuing me. Makes me feel better. Although sometimes my weird sense of humor kicks in and the mental picture freaks me out.
I can empathise. I also have things I want to do, both for myself and my family, but having the spritual, mental and physical energy to do them is hard. Time is also a factor for me - I mean, I work all day, and to come home and then be energised to do other things is hard, when you have to cook dinner for the family, walk the dog, do enough housework to stay on top of things... I think its a sign of the world we live in today that there are so many demands on our time that we only have enough to do those things we have to do, rather than those we want to.
Thanks Sandi!
Hehe, John. I can get that picture in my imagination too. Definitely freaky...
Simon it is sad we are overinvested. I don't see an easy way out of these responsiblities since there would be too high a price paid by my family and me.
This reminds me of Tim McGraw's song "Live Like You Were Dying." Some of the song talks about doing 'things' to make your life interesting. Other parts talk about mindset. You may not be able to carve time out of your life to do some of the big things you mentioned (volunteering and such), but you can insert elements of what you think you would enjoy into your current routine to make it more rewarding.
As for time to daydream, you need to make time for that kiddo. Whether you do it in the shower, on the potty or while in the car...find time to dream a bit. Whatever else you are thinking about in the shower can be done at another time. My mind is too tired to dream much lately, but I usually use the time I am nursing my son to let my mind roll.
My weekend was spent alone, blessedly alone. I felt mentally revived.
I think I see an answer in this statement. Schedule some time somewhere to be blessedly alone. Even Jesus needed time to go off by himself to be renewed.
Spoken by someone who knows the overscheduled life well. I learned from the best. I keep hoping life will be less hectic once my kids are grown, then I watch Mom and realize it is up to me to balance my business.
Greeny, you're right - there is no easy solution. Well, there's one... we meet in the Bahamas and run away together! hehe.
Buddhists believe that most of life's suffering comes from attachment. To things, to people, to ideas... They spend a great deal of time learning to detach. And they learn it by taking time alone. And focusing within. And letting go of ideas of how they should do it.
Sounds to me like you are already way ahead of the spiritual game.
Happy New Year Greeny!
I brought wine.
You know, I really hope that all this very fine advice is hitting you the way it's intended...as encouragement and support. Because it would be just horrible if it wasn't.
That said, I'm going to get on the "schedule the time" train. I know it seems nearly impossible now but there are little moments in the day and even little moments just focused on you and your dreams will have a lot of impact. And over time, as you think about how you'd like your life to be vs how it is, you might just figure out a way to make it happen.
It's been done. I know.
Now here's a big hug and I'm going to go get the glasses...no, you sit right there, I'll do it...
Hi, Greeny. I related to some of your feelings. Work has been quite busy lately, leaving me with little energy to be social or creative. When I get home, my brain seems to not want to do anything it doesn't have to do. It just wants to decompress for a few hours.
Not sure what the solution is, though.
Thanks for visiting my blog.
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