Raising A Son
That's the title of the book I am reading. I've been started for months now but I can't find enough quiet time to let what I'm reading sink in.
Today I've had some of that time with testing done for the day but no other work waiting.
"So often when boys are put down for their aggressiveness, inattentiveness, and unruliness, their souls get lost in the constant coping with their biological drives. It is amazing how spending time with a son, getting to know him, naming his deeper qualities, and taking his concerns seriously, calms him and gives him a sense of being real. Cooperation blooms if we give him meaningful opportunities to display his innermost drives and abilities...
Sons are are starving for adults to see in them what they feel but cannot name (girls too). It requires time, the ability to really look and listen, and trial and error, to name a son's soul qualities truly...But when we name them rightly, our sons will bloom. We will see how deeply they are touched-in a glance, a nod or an expression of glee. We can all remember times when this happened for us. For a moment, we felt seen, heard and known. "
I just think of the times this year I've really connected with my son and seen his innermost qualities or realized from a far what he was feeling or thinking. He knows now too that I understand and really accept him for who he is. I relate. He feels that. He loves it and yes, I've had the gleeful expression from him. It makes my heart soar.
Today I've had some of that time with testing done for the day but no other work waiting.
"So often when boys are put down for their aggressiveness, inattentiveness, and unruliness, their souls get lost in the constant coping with their biological drives. It is amazing how spending time with a son, getting to know him, naming his deeper qualities, and taking his concerns seriously, calms him and gives him a sense of being real. Cooperation blooms if we give him meaningful opportunities to display his innermost drives and abilities...
Sons are are starving for adults to see in them what they feel but cannot name (girls too). It requires time, the ability to really look and listen, and trial and error, to name a son's soul qualities truly...But when we name them rightly, our sons will bloom. We will see how deeply they are touched-in a glance, a nod or an expression of glee. We can all remember times when this happened for us. For a moment, we felt seen, heard and known. "
I just think of the times this year I've really connected with my son and seen his innermost qualities or realized from a far what he was feeling or thinking. He knows now too that I understand and really accept him for who he is. I relate. He feels that. He loves it and yes, I've had the gleeful expression from him. It makes my heart soar.
posted by Unknown at 2:21 PM
2 Comments:
Can you teach my wife this?
She's all about being the parent and teacher, which is great, as far as it goes.
But, she hasn't made that connection and at this point, there's a danger that she never will.
Wonderful post. I feel that I have done that for my boys too.. at least I hope I have. :)
I am going to get that book.
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