Pondering My Dilemma
So this "space" I've managed to get from Wildman is making him crazy. He is upset and worried, depressed and puzzled. I can't tell him for sure why I'm feeling like I want to be alone. It just seems like I don't want any attention and he can't help but be invasive with attention when he and I are together. He makes me uncomfortable with his constant yearnings for us to be together and his insistence he can make everything better. I've gone to not really talking or texting much because it seems to send a signal that I want attention. Then he will text or email.
Yesterday I did text him to say good morning and a few other things. After that, I didn't text or call him all day or last night so he was upset this morning. We texted some terse words. I asked him to try and relax. That is the last I heard from him.
I get a knot in my stomach trying to figure out what I want to do about him. I have made mistakes in the past so I am paralyzed for fear of making a wrong decision on this.
I honestly would like to have the nerve to ask him if we could stop seeing each other for a while so I could figure out if it's just this time I'm going through or if it's that we aren't right for each other. That makes the most sense to me but I'm not sure if I can do that to him, knowing how he'll react. a big UUUgghh!
Yesterday I did text him to say good morning and a few other things. After that, I didn't text or call him all day or last night so he was upset this morning. We texted some terse words. I asked him to try and relax. That is the last I heard from him.
I get a knot in my stomach trying to figure out what I want to do about him. I have made mistakes in the past so I am paralyzed for fear of making a wrong decision on this.
I honestly would like to have the nerve to ask him if we could stop seeing each other for a while so I could figure out if it's just this time I'm going through or if it's that we aren't right for each other. That makes the most sense to me but I'm not sure if I can do that to him, knowing how he'll react. a big UUUgghh!
posted by Unknown at 12:57 PM
10 Comments:
It sucks when two people are in different places in the same relationship.
I've been where he is and I know he just sees this as the begining of the end of something very valuable to him.
He thought he found what he was looking for and probably thought you felt the same way.
That will freak a guy out to be sure.
so do you think that time apart will tell you if HE is right for you or that you are happier alone?
I really feel for you! Its tough to find a good man... that you are attracted to and respect... and is single! lol Thats not the reason to stay with someone you may not feel is right for you though.
I have been where you are (ironic as Iamnot has been where Wildman is) in a relationship. It is difficult to hurt someone you care about, but you ultimately need to be sure of your feelings or it will may hurt you both more later.
Its also scary to have to make such an important decision that might leave you on your own again... but it might just lead you back to Wildman again too! I always remember a comment you made a while back about wishing that you had tried harder with your kids father... try to let that lesson help you and not stiffel you.
Good luck! I will be thinking of ya! Oh and I this is a do as I say not as I do comment by the way! lol I suck at relationships (even though I have been married 18 years! lol)and I have NEVER been on my own.
"I'm felling like I want to be alone." "He makes me uncomfortable." "I get a knot in my stomach trying to figure out what I want to do.""I honestly would like to have the nerve to ask him if we could stop seeing each other for a while."
You are the expert in how you feel about this relationship. These are the words of the expert. Listen to yourself.
Isn't she a smart mom?
I was going to say the same thing as everybody else. Don't let guilt and sorrow keep you in a relationship that is not right. Being committed to the wrong person is no good to anyone.
This is hard. It will get better. You've "been alone" before. It's not that hard, and it's not that alone.
I agree totally,Iamnot and I have been where he is so I am reluctant to hurt him.
Kate, I believe I am just feeling guilty because I don't feel the same for him as he feels for me. It seems wrong for me to continue if I don't see us together in the future.
He is a great companion but I don't want any more. I was open for whatever might develop but it hasn't for me.
I don't mind being alone now. I have so much to keep together that my life is full with that. And I have things I want to pursue as work.
BUT..that really worries me. Is it a flaw I have to not have enough energy to work on a relationship when I have a busy life?
I suck at relationships too but I have learned from each one.
Yes, Mom, I know you're right. Listening to myself has never been my strong suite. And I can make anything hard for myself. Over- analysis and thinking too hard until I'm confused.
AAHHHH, I need a counselor!!!
Then get one. Don't tell us. Go!
annes right. you need someone you can bounce all the details off of and will tell you if y ou are on or off base. Its a really big decision so you want to be backed by whatever expert advice you can have... not that mine isnt expert mind you hehehe
Good luck! Keep the faith. You will make a decision and it will all be ok in the end.
Trust yourself, Greeny. I know it's hard to contemplate hurting someone but he'll be hurt more if you string him along.
Happy Saturday Greeny!
Tough stuff only YOU can figure out!!! Good luck....thinking about ya ;)
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