A Day Off and A Dollar Short..er
Just a couple of things.
My son had a melt down Sunday night at bedtime and it came to my attention he suffers not only from some major hormonal action but to a degree, some OCD tendencies. Ah-HA! Now we are getting somewhere. I knew he had some nervous habits but he revealed the need to say a word out loud or in his mind every time he takes a step and he touches his fingers to his thumb while he is talking. He has been trying to stop himself from doing this stuff or trying to keep it a secret. Hence, his major frustration since it's not within himself to stop it completely.
Also, his anger is spiking from things like hitting a player in war ball only to have the kid tell him he didn't actually get hit. He gets so mad about stuff like that, it makes him cry, which is another thing he is frustrated about. How does a mom start to handle a thing like that???
I've been reading up on OCD and recognize his symptoms as well as a few of his father's and sisters, even one I had back a few years ago. I knew his dad had a few years of horrible adolescent existence due to his OCD and highly emotional state but I really thought it was over dramatized by his mother. Guess I was wrong, maybe. So, taking all this in, I think more exercise would be helpful to disperse some of that rage (no wonder so many boys have weight sets) , some talks about what we can find out and use for help on the OCD front and just talking in general.
The good news is, he trusts me to tell me. Come to find out, many people we know exhibit OCD traits, including a teacher he highly respects. COOL, huh? We talked about it and the hormonal thing too, which makes him feel a bit more in control and better.
Out of school today for snow and frigid temps. I've got lots a little projects. It's time to move my wine to a glass carboy. Keep your fingers crossed it's a good vintage! HeHe. I opened a bottle of my blackberry I started back in February of last year. It's so-so.
Ok, more on the daughter vs. the dad's Significant Other, Jenn.
E has been going to her dad's with an open mind and good intentions lately and the way has been relatively smooth. Seems the last visit yielded a chance for E to discuss stuff with the SO's oldest son's girlfriend. She apparently talked about the fact SO doesn't really like her and things that have happened between them have been due to misunderstanding. I wonder how these things were relayed back to SO? E said she was not being hateful and didn't say anything that hadn't been documented already. I wonder if my daughter really was venting or just stating the basic truth? I don't automatically believe everything E tells me but I know her basic makeup would not allow her to do something this devious even though the end result might be to her liking ( not having to go to the house of hell). Sounds suspicious, I know. SO got her feelings hurt anyway by the translation of what E said and so now she demands Dad to investigate. She also is mad at the girlfriend for relaying said info which is hurtful. Is this not the stupidest thing you've ever heard??? It sounds like crap from high school. Girlfriend told SO, SO told Dad and now Dad has to question E. I told him last night it sounds like crap and E is never going to get a fair shake so E is probably not going to go stay anymore. He'll have to see her separate from the SO. He agreed it would be the easiest thing. Luckily, I didn't get mad and I kept my self under control. I think deep down he believes E would not do anything like this but he is such a wimp when it comes to this woman's demands it is going to cost him his daughter's respect.
I feel really inadequate right now.
Time to feed the hungry birds and then the feathered ones as well.
Maybe I should join the HNT network. I suppose that might make my visitor numbers "swell". Arg, bad pun.
I'll keep it simple and just wish everyone a happy Thursday.
My son had a melt down Sunday night at bedtime and it came to my attention he suffers not only from some major hormonal action but to a degree, some OCD tendencies. Ah-HA! Now we are getting somewhere. I knew he had some nervous habits but he revealed the need to say a word out loud or in his mind every time he takes a step and he touches his fingers to his thumb while he is talking. He has been trying to stop himself from doing this stuff or trying to keep it a secret. Hence, his major frustration since it's not within himself to stop it completely.
Also, his anger is spiking from things like hitting a player in war ball only to have the kid tell him he didn't actually get hit. He gets so mad about stuff like that, it makes him cry, which is another thing he is frustrated about. How does a mom start to handle a thing like that???
I've been reading up on OCD and recognize his symptoms as well as a few of his father's and sisters, even one I had back a few years ago. I knew his dad had a few years of horrible adolescent existence due to his OCD and highly emotional state but I really thought it was over dramatized by his mother. Guess I was wrong, maybe. So, taking all this in, I think more exercise would be helpful to disperse some of that rage (no wonder so many boys have weight sets) , some talks about what we can find out and use for help on the OCD front and just talking in general.
The good news is, he trusts me to tell me. Come to find out, many people we know exhibit OCD traits, including a teacher he highly respects. COOL, huh? We talked about it and the hormonal thing too, which makes him feel a bit more in control and better.
Out of school today for snow and frigid temps. I've got lots a little projects. It's time to move my wine to a glass carboy. Keep your fingers crossed it's a good vintage! HeHe. I opened a bottle of my blackberry I started back in February of last year. It's so-so.
Ok, more on the daughter vs. the dad's Significant Other, Jenn.
E has been going to her dad's with an open mind and good intentions lately and the way has been relatively smooth. Seems the last visit yielded a chance for E to discuss stuff with the SO's oldest son's girlfriend. She apparently talked about the fact SO doesn't really like her and things that have happened between them have been due to misunderstanding. I wonder how these things were relayed back to SO? E said she was not being hateful and didn't say anything that hadn't been documented already. I wonder if my daughter really was venting or just stating the basic truth? I don't automatically believe everything E tells me but I know her basic makeup would not allow her to do something this devious even though the end result might be to her liking ( not having to go to the house of hell). Sounds suspicious, I know. SO got her feelings hurt anyway by the translation of what E said and so now she demands Dad to investigate. She also is mad at the girlfriend for relaying said info which is hurtful. Is this not the stupidest thing you've ever heard??? It sounds like crap from high school. Girlfriend told SO, SO told Dad and now Dad has to question E. I told him last night it sounds like crap and E is never going to get a fair shake so E is probably not going to go stay anymore. He'll have to see her separate from the SO. He agreed it would be the easiest thing. Luckily, I didn't get mad and I kept my self under control. I think deep down he believes E would not do anything like this but he is such a wimp when it comes to this woman's demands it is going to cost him his daughter's respect.
I feel really inadequate right now.
Time to feed the hungry birds and then the feathered ones as well.
Maybe I should join the HNT network. I suppose that might make my visitor numbers "swell". Arg, bad pun.
I'll keep it simple and just wish everyone a happy Thursday.
posted by Unknown at 7:54 AM
6 Comments:
My ex is getting remarried again--I was his second this will be his third. She's 22 and clueless. My son doesn't totally dislike the girlchild but he hates that she hovers over him and his dad and doesn't allow them anyspace. She's insecure, but what do you expect when your 22? When I tell the ex how our sons feels he says that he always seems fine and doesn't complain to him about these things to him. It's becuase my son feels safe with me, he feels that my love will not depend on how he reacts to me. My love for him is constant. I don't think that the men get that sometimes.
I feel for your daughter, I feel for all children of divorce. E wont have to go to the house of hell for much longer, she'll be 18 before you know it.
You should NOT feel inadequate.. your ex should. And it does sound so stupid of he SO to get all miffed.. grow up SO..
Ok.. I am getting pissed..lol..
You hit the nail on the head, runwaylights.
I feel overwhelming guilt for having split the family up but that ends up being very unconstructive. And, having stayed together might not have produced any better results. But we will never know.
I think it gives us a bit more energy to take care of our children when we know there is no one else who will put forth our kind of effort.
Thanks for the words, sandi. I got mad reading it again too!
The dad sent an email today that was kind and good but he is going to cop out on E. He came to the conclusion it is sometimes impossible to have everyone he loves together AND happy so he will have to settle and he chooses happy. So that means he will keep SO and E apart. Band-aid with a smiley face.
Good to know you are making progress with your son. Definitely sounds frustrating for him.
How horrible that E's Dad feels the need to question her on what she may or may not have said. SO needs to grow up and shrug it off. Kids have a right to have a hard time when their parents are dating other people. They have a right to process and release. SO needs to be an adult here and not act like a child over hearing how E feels. E's Dad should have told SO to just chill.
Runway, good luck with your situation. I can imagine any feedback you give your ex will be interpreted as spite against his 22 year old intended. Men can be dense.
See, this is why I'm thinking of putting off a new relationship til my kids are grown. I think I'll just stick with a string of lovers instead. ;-)
My ex married right after the divorce on the opposite coast and didn't invite the kids. She still lives in the midwest primarily, so he doesn't have a full-time wife. He's also not a full time parent. I guess he figured out how to make his relationships last.
Ugh, that is bad. Total putz.
I was a total putz with the 2nd marriage and put the kids thru hell with a man that acted worse than this woman thought about being. However, I got out relatively quickly with all of us intact and now that we have somewhat healed, I realize I can have a relationship with the right person that adds a very good dimension to all our lives. It wouldn't be cemented until the kids are out of my house. That is unspoken though as I don't want them to think I am at all in a hurry to get them gone.
I made up my mind what I was going to have from a relationship for me and my kids as well and laid it out. Wildman is adhering to my demands quite nicely and willingly. But if something goes awry with him, my plan will stay the same. Kids first.
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