A thought for my day
I was reading a new blog today http://betheboy.blogspot.com/ where visitors were asked how they got to it and what they were afraid of today.
I didn't comment but awhile ago I was thinking about what I was afraid of. I'd have to say it would be my kids growing up unhappy, insecure individuals. Obviously, to teach them to be happy would mean mostly to teach them to love themselves before they try to love anyone else. Now if I could only teach myself that...
I have never felt like I was really loved by anyone or even enjoyed by anyone because I have never really liked myself let alone loved myself. It's been a huge problem my whole life. A nasty, glaring mental block. I have not been my own best friend which is what I tell my children they have to be for themselves. They have to love themselves.
Wildman has come closer than anyone to make me feel real love from someone. He just keeps it up, doing his best to convince me. I have an better understanding of why I have been so reluctant to give over to him fully and really allow him into my heart. I don't believe in myself enough or love myself enough for a relationship to seem possible. I am working towards it, though and only now since I've gotten older do I feel like I have merit. Isn't that a shame? I hate myself for it.
Kidding....
I didn't comment but awhile ago I was thinking about what I was afraid of. I'd have to say it would be my kids growing up unhappy, insecure individuals. Obviously, to teach them to be happy would mean mostly to teach them to love themselves before they try to love anyone else. Now if I could only teach myself that...
I have never felt like I was really loved by anyone or even enjoyed by anyone because I have never really liked myself let alone loved myself. It's been a huge problem my whole life. A nasty, glaring mental block. I have not been my own best friend which is what I tell my children they have to be for themselves. They have to love themselves.
Wildman has come closer than anyone to make me feel real love from someone. He just keeps it up, doing his best to convince me. I have an better understanding of why I have been so reluctant to give over to him fully and really allow him into my heart. I don't believe in myself enough or love myself enough for a relationship to seem possible. I am working towards it, though and only now since I've gotten older do I feel like I have merit. Isn't that a shame? I hate myself for it.
Kidding....
posted by Unknown at 2:56 PM
7 Comments:
It is a shame but I you are certainly not alone. Its great that you are working at it and that you are focusing on making your kids love themselves! I think I should do the same. I really never even think about that bit and I do expect soooo much from them.. . I think I will have a talk with them today. Thanks!=]
I guess I should be the barer of bad news too... ummm WE LIKE YOU HERE IN BLOGLAND>>> you'll have to get used to that too! hehehe
"I have never felt like I was really loved by anyone or even enjoyed by anyone because I have never really liked myself let alone loved myself."
I know a lot of people that feel this way and we are all about the same age. We've talked about it and we all wonder if it was a generational issue because of our parents...
Just last year after 48 years, my Dad finally says "I love you".
I dont' know.
My favorite song is, "Everybody loves me baby, what's the matter with you," by Don McLean
So, I just can't relate.
Wildman must be a good guy. He is demonstrating what is truth, that you are lovable and worthwhile. Sounds like you are teaching your children well. You are a good mom.
(hugs) Greeny. You are definitely lovable.
You have brought me joy!
I think Otis is onto something. I think many parents felt that withheld praise and affection made kids stronger. My X suffers from that, although he doesn't see it as clearly as I do.
Thank God my parents were from California - touchy-feely hippie types - except they never inhaled.
This really was an "a-ha, I get it now" post for me, not intended to be a "poor me" post. Thanks for all your input and good words, though.
Isn't life strange?
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