Gosh, it's freaky. My daughter has her boyfriend over for a while before his basketball game tonight. He seems to fit in here well. And he seems to treat her well. Very important.
It's freaky for obvious reasons. She's my daughter and I'm watching her go into this amazing part of her life. She is twice the girl I was in many ways.
But, she is 14. He is 17. I am NOT allowing dating, only chaperoned activities, with me as chaperone. They actually are a pretty good fit with conversations and humor measuring up similarly.
I just had a look into the future and it scared me shitless.
It's freaky for obvious reasons. She's my daughter and I'm watching her go into this amazing part of her life. She is twice the girl I was in many ways.
But, she is 14. He is 17. I am NOT allowing dating, only chaperoned activities, with me as chaperone. They actually are a pretty good fit with conversations and humor measuring up similarly.
I just had a look into the future and it scared me shitless.
posted by Unknown at 5:24 PM
6 Comments:
I'm following closely. My 13 year old is giving me a hard time about the guy I'm starting to see. I think she'll be easier on me once she starts her own adventures in dating, but I'm not anxious for that to start. I'll just watch how you're doing.
This is the point at which I am glad I don't have children...especially girl children with the urge to date.
You are wise to make sure that YOU are the chaperone. My 14 year old daughter had a 16 year old boyfriend.He was a really nice guy, very upbeat and positive. He had good grades and good plans for the future, college and career wise. But still, I was not happy about him being so much older. I too will not allow her to "date" and I restricted her to only group and chaperoned activities. He was welcome in our home (because I was always here and they were never allowed upstairs or left alone). I allowed her to spend an hour or so at a time at his house as well because his grandmother (that he lived with) assured me that she is always there when they would be there. Found out later that grandma was there, but usually napping in her recliner in front of the tv while that kid had my daughter upstairs in his room! Thank goodness for the software program we installed on the computer that allows me to see every single website, email, chat session....every key my children hit on the computer, even messages and emails that they delete. That's how I found out about it, I saw her telling her best friend that she and her boyfriend had "done it". Talk about heartbreaking, she's only 14 years old!!!! Long story short, I told her I knew what they were doing (didn't tell her how I knew)and I put an immediate stop to her spending any time with him other than with me right there. He lasted a week and dumped her because he couldn't handle not being able to "be alone with her". Now, two months later, she regrets having wasted something so precious on him. I'm glad I had that computer program or I never would have found out and who knows how much trouble she could be in by now. I never thought I'd be the sort of mom to "spy" on my kids, but I see it a lot differently these days... now it truly can be a matter of life or death. My daughter has always been an awesome kid, always an honor roll student,taking advanced college prep courses, involved in four different bands at her school, in various leadership type clubs, sports, active in sunday school at church...lots of really good kids for friends, and always very open in her communication with me (except for this). So you just can't ever take it for granted that because you have a great kid, they aren't going to give in when someone pressures them to do things they shouldn't.
Sorry for the long comment... Glad you're being so careful with your daughter.
Oh gosh, my palms are sweating. I'm a 35 year old mom of an 8 month old girl. I'm looking at her as I type this wondering who is going to be sitting on my living room couch one day with designs on my daughter. Eek.
May the force be with you.
Good on you. My parents let me date an 18 year old when I was 15. It wasn't a good thing. He never got away with anything, but he tried. They thought he was such a fine, upstanding, mature young man. He was an ass. Sometimes I look back on that time and just shudder to think what could have happened.
The good news is that The Child has known since she was wee that there won't be any dating until she's 16. And even then there's going to be supervision. Sucks to be her. She'll thank me some day.
I keep remembering what my father has always told me. "You have to be smarter than your kids"
Shit, I'm doomed.
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