Today the kid's dad is no longer in his house nearby but moved in with his girlfriend 30 miles away.
My daughter is feeling the loss. It coincides with the loss of her middle school days and the beginning of HS as well as a teacher she has been especially close to since 1st grade. She had a very hard day yesterday saying goodby to these things.
This is my loss too, my heart and head are telling me. I've had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach for several days now. I guess it's because it has been a stable 3 or so years with him nearby and available to the kids and it's been amicable between us from the start but that will change with the "move-in" and into her house on top of that. I worry about my duaghter's ability to be mature enough to handle the slings and arrows from this overly sensitive, opinionated, heavy-handed woman. I realize E will have to grow up and suck it up during her visits(thank goodness they are only weekend visits, althought there will be 4 different weeks of summer vacation with Dad) but it's too bad she is the one that has to maintain some level of maturity. I don't give E the feeling she is always in the right and I don't bash the girlfriend. Which is hard since I've come to not like her very much. It's approached from the view that this is something E will have to learn to live with and to develop her coping skills with.
My plan is to discuss with E about the importance of her going into this with a bit of positive thinking and maturity, and if things start to decline with a few visits under her belt, it will be time to have a discussion with the dad. He is aware of the problems between the females but I'm not at all sure if he takes a proactive approach or just doens't know what to do so he does nothing.
J is just ecstatic since the girlfriend has a son his age he digs. He is into the move so at least one isn't struggling with the move.
My daughter is feeling the loss. It coincides with the loss of her middle school days and the beginning of HS as well as a teacher she has been especially close to since 1st grade. She had a very hard day yesterday saying goodby to these things.
This is my loss too, my heart and head are telling me. I've had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach for several days now. I guess it's because it has been a stable 3 or so years with him nearby and available to the kids and it's been amicable between us from the start but that will change with the "move-in" and into her house on top of that. I worry about my duaghter's ability to be mature enough to handle the slings and arrows from this overly sensitive, opinionated, heavy-handed woman. I realize E will have to grow up and suck it up during her visits(thank goodness they are only weekend visits, althought there will be 4 different weeks of summer vacation with Dad) but it's too bad she is the one that has to maintain some level of maturity. I don't give E the feeling she is always in the right and I don't bash the girlfriend. Which is hard since I've come to not like her very much. It's approached from the view that this is something E will have to learn to live with and to develop her coping skills with.
My plan is to discuss with E about the importance of her going into this with a bit of positive thinking and maturity, and if things start to decline with a few visits under her belt, it will be time to have a discussion with the dad. He is aware of the problems between the females but I'm not at all sure if he takes a proactive approach or just doens't know what to do so he does nothing.
J is just ecstatic since the girlfriend has a son his age he digs. He is into the move so at least one isn't struggling with the move.
posted by Unknown at 7:19 AM
1 Comments:
tough to navigate these waters for sure!
I remember doing it as a kid... I think that you are sending the right message to your kids and even to your ex... keep it positive and mature. Everyone will have to bend a bit and keep an open mind.
My Dad moved away unexpectedly when I was 11. He moved to Florida (we were in NJ at the time) called and said he couldnt pick us up that weekend because... I survived even though the divorse was awful... worse than you can probably imagine... so with as great as you are being about communicating and caring for your kids feelings... they will be just fine!!
Good luck!
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